Growing older

Its hard for me to admit that I may, indeed, be growing older. Its crazy, I know, but apparently time has not stopped for me. I can't really be growing older, because I'm still waiting to feel like an adult. When exactly does that happen I wonder?

Anyway, the first inkling of growing older for me was not too long ago - I was running, as usual, when I developed a severe pain in my left calf. It hurt like hell, but I sucked it up and finished what I had planned to run, thinking the pain would go away. It didn't and I limped the last 1/4 mile. After that, it took about two weeks of resting and babying it for it to get better and only recently (within the last week) did it stop hurting all-together. That was the first sign of old. The second came just this last Friday (yesterday) when I was playing football. I was doing great, feeling good, jumping around, running, shucking, jiving and all that good stuff. But, near the end of the game, while I was returning a punt, I zigged this way and zagged that way, but when I zagged, I also tried to accellerate and pushed off hard on my left leg. I felt like something snapped in my upper left hamstring, and luckily someone was there to tag me so I didn't look like I hurt something - but I couldn't run at all. There were only a couple of seconds left on the clock, so I took the snap off the shotgun and pretended not to hurt (so the guy wouldn't rush in right away). I threw the ball deep into the in-zone and thankfully the receiver caught the ball. So, we won the game - thats the important part. The not so important, but much longer lasting, part is the fact that I limped off the field. I had never felt pain like it before, it was very unsettling, but I was sure it would go away - it always does.

Now, I sit here typing and my leg still hurts! I can't flex it much one way or the other before it hurts. I hope it too will go away (the pain, not the leg) once I rest it some more and take it easy. But, two relatively serious muscle injuries in a two week period isn't good. And I think its happening because I'm getting old. My poor body is breaking down and isn't recovering as fast as it once did.

I just found out another thing today that makes me feel older - someone I knew in high school (a teacher), just passed away. She was a great person who I could actually credit with first encouraging the questioning of what some people consider to be facts, when they are really beliefs. I'm sure she didn't know it, but our discussion way back then about an apparent flaw in the whole science/religion thing has always stuck with me and given me the keyhole to look through religion and to see what is behind the curtain. I'm pretty sure she'd be dissapointed in how that turned out, because it wasn't what she believed. But, I hope she could take some credit for allowing me to question the belief and to hold it up to some scrutiny without simply putting it down, thereby encouring myself and others to seek the truth and to not settle for what is fed to us.

I hope Ms. Hazelbaker has found what she was looking for and may she rest in peace.