Privacy

How much actual privacy should a kid have? The real answer is NONE.
Ok, but that’s too simplistic and not realistic I suppose. I guess the privacy issue for me breaks down into two catagories – TRUE privacy and PERCEIVED privacy.
TRUE privacy is what things a kid does that the parents should not or would know about – ever. How much TRUE privacy is acceptable for kids under 18 living in my house? None. Ok, now that that’s cleared up…
PERCEIVED privacy is how much stuff a child does that they don’t think their parents know about. Things like all that silly stuff they do online, how long they stay up, whats written in the that secret diary locked away from prying eyes – that perceived privacy is what will keep kids from trying harder to achieve TRUE privacy – the more PERCEIVED privacy they have, the less they will go out of their way to hide things. After all, there is no sense in hiding things BETTER if they are already secured good enough – right?
My daughters have more than an ample supply of perceived privacy that they don’t feel the need to go out and get TRUE privacy. How do I know? Because I go through their rooms every once in a while looking for all those hidden things. And because I was a kid not so long ago, I know everywhere to look. Am I conceited enough to think that I know EVERYTHING? No. But I know about 99% of what is going on. The other 1% is probably not all that important anyway.
Bottom line is that kids don’t need ANY true privacy, but they do need perceived privacy so that they can learn what to share with others and what should be their own secrets. Before you let someone drive, they have fake cars, bicycles, etc to learn how to behave – its no different with privacy.