Daddys Girl

Back when I got back from Iraq, Ember was more than a handful – she was very defiant, mouthy and unruly – which I completely attribute to hormonal changes she was and still is going through. At first I tried to take a hard line with her, setting very strict standards and rules, bedtimes, chores, etc. It didn’t work, she was defiant as ever and just had more to be defiant against. She, of course, hated me, blah blah blah.

Then I decided to take a different approach – I was going to turn her into a Daddy’s Girl. I started treating her more like an adult, with more freedom and less restriction. Actually, she just thinks she has more freedom and less restriction – none of the rules really changed – and in fact, she has MORE chores to do. It’s the illusion of freedom that she has. What she does get is more respect and she gets treated like a child less. We let her babysit when we are gone, we sometimes let her eat in the living room with us (we do it to get away from the relentless nagging of the children – I know, bad parents). She now has her own cell phone, a laptop she can use whenever she wants, an MP3 player, a TV, PS2, a bank account, and an allowance. Her chores are to take out the kitchen garbage every day, keep her room clean, and whatever random things I ask her to do - like empty the dishwasher, vacuum wherever and whatever we need done.

I have also given her more attention – hugs and kisses and stuff like that. Adolescents don’t usually like affection from their parents, especially in public, but she deals with in tolerably well and even voluntarily cuddles on the couch sometimes.

My goal of making her a “Daddy’s Girl” is progressing nicely.
Now, why would I want to make her a Daddy’s Girl? Because in order to help mold her into a young lady and strong woman, she first needs to become moldable. And then, I’ve always liked the notion that people will rise to the level that you treat them as. If I treat her like a lady, she will become a lady. If I treat her like a child, she will act like a child. I figure I have less than 8 years to make her into a strong young lady, and I can’t waste a moment of time.