Obsession

In the past I haven’t thought of myself as an “obsessive” person. When I was a kid, my room was a mess – all the time. I rarely did homework and didn’t much care that my grades suffered for it. I HAVE always preferred to be with family than out with others. I didn’t even really like going to sleep-overs at my friends’ houses – I would rather be home. It appears that that was the first obsession I had – family. I don’t think its such a bad obsession – although sometimes I think my family might.

I think as I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed some obsessive tendencies. For example, if I want something, I go get it – whether it’s a game for the PS3 or a new Jeep. I do the research, figure out what – exactly – I want, then I find it and get it. Needless to say, this makes me difficult to shop for – if I know I want something, I probably already have it or am in the process of getting it. Luckily, my wife is one step ahead of me in knowing what I want and so she is the only one who manages to get me things for holidays that I didn’t know I wanted (yet), but did. This Christmas it was a mini-helicopter and I love it. For my birthday, it was a catapult – who doesn’t need a catapult on their desk now and then? I love them. The bad thing for everyone else is that I can’t tell them what I want because A) if I can afford it, I have it or B) if I can’t afford it, neither can they (for example, my current obsession is to get my Jeep lifted a couple inches and get bigger tires – rough estimate on cost is between $1000-$4000).

Now, it appears that keeping my daughter out of trouble has become another obsession. Its hard for me to let her out of my sight. This morning I took her to her friends house for a sleep-over. I gave her all the usual warning and talks (safety briefs?) like, “boys are bad” and “all little boys want to touch little girl parts,” and the rules “no being alone with any boy,” “always be with a girl friend,” “no kissing or touching boys,” and I had to emphasize today that she doesn’t look like she’s ten. She used to look like she was 13-14 before she got her hair cut and streaked, now she looks like she’s 15-16. That means she (and I) has to not only worry about boys her own age, but much older ones who are much more manipulative. I take comfort in the fact that she usually makes the right decisions, and knows that we’re looking out for her. Also, its nice that she’s on post and not out in the city – I feel I have a little bit for power here. I know where all the little boys’ fathers work.

On the internet front, she is doing good. There are still stupid people on Zwinky, but most are harmless. And most recognize that she’s ten and they need to steer clear. The ones that don’t are the ones that I watch that much more closely.